Beauty Contest

"Beauty Contest"
(G. Stefani, T. Kanal)
(Return of Saturn [Japanese Release] 2000, Everything In Time 2003)

Damsel in distress is quite submissive
Look how sun burnt my vanity is
Effeminate human creature
Superficial seducing detour
I'm going to the mall for the cookie-cutter
The ugly duckling will always suffer
Contaminated standards, don't try to fight it
I better get back on my diet

Obsessed with the beauty contest
Beauty contest
How'd my vanity get such a mess?
Beauty contest
I'm obsessed

Reduce myself, I've got the strict restrictions
Not sexy enough without the regulations
Molten point countdown my fading features
Born to Blossom, and bloom to perish

Obsessed with the beauty contest
Beauty contest
I've got to get out of this mess
Beauty contest

I'm obsessed
And I've fallen, I can't help myself
I'm feeling envious of all the rest
You're bringing out the lemming in me
A victim of the cattle-call disease
Not easy to be me

I feel swollen
Obsessed with the beauty contest
Beauty contest

How'd my vanity get such a mess?
Beauty contest
Obsessed with a beauty contest
Obsessed with the beauty contest
Beauty contest
I've got to get out of this mess
Beauty contest
Obsessed with the beauty contest
Obsessed with the beauty contest
Beauty contest
How'd my vanity get such a mess?
Beauty contest
Caught up in the beauty contest
And I feel swollen
How'd my vanity get such a mess?
(Interscope Records)

Tomorrow night I've been invited to a pub crawl, and I promised, promised Phuong that I'd go. So I guess I'm going.

Thursday night I was huddled under the covers praying for freedom from my fever. She and Lisa went to Santana Row and went to a bunch of bars there. Apparently they both got a little tipsy. Phuong and I are lightweights when it comes to liquor. They'd gone in Phuong's car, but she felt too drunk to drive and gave her keys to Lisa so they'd both make it back in one piece.

Lisa drove them back to her apartment cuz Phuong didn't wanna go home drunk (afraid her parents would know.) When morning came, Lisa had know idea how they'd made it back to the apartment-- didn't even remember driving or watching TV. Friday morning she was incapacitated from, and I quote, "the worst fucking hangover to have ever plagued mankind."

Talk about lucky.

Earlier last week, Phuong was complaining to me about *her* crush. This is quite possibly the longest crushes ever (two and half years and counting). Anyway, she goes back and forth between loving him and hating him. Hers is a kinder, gentler form of stalking. She's got her spies, they are everywhere. And as a result, we know tons of stuff about him though there has been little interaction between them. (Except a group trip to Britannia Arms before graduation day.)

I think her crush is fading though. From asking around, we've determined that, as far as anyone knows, he's only ever dated white girls. Plus he said something about Vietnamese people which Phuong didn't take to kindly to.

"Dude, I can't change my race. I can't help the fact that my eyes are slanted and brown-- I couldn't even bleach my hair blonde enough for him," and "eye make up won't change the shape of my eyes, believe me, I've tried," she stated rather emphatically. So I said, "Yeah, it sucks when someone won't date you because you're Vietnamese." But I also added silently, 'or if he won't date you because you are not Asian.' So we're both wishing we are something that we are not. We both hate ourselves.

If that's it, if he only dates white girls, then I find this very ironic. You know, considering that *my* ex-crush only dates Asian girls. What's that expression, "the grass is always greener....."

Anyway, how I'm possibly going to afford a pub crawl is beyond me. Especially considering that I just blew a bunch of money on new clothes. (What does one do if her form of therapy could lead to possible bankruptcy?) Although I have been feeling pretty damn tired I think I'll go. I haven't had a good night out in a long time-- I keep backing out cuz I've been feeling like crap.

My chest just hurts! Pain that happens when you breathe just isn't fun.

Born to blossom, and bloom to perish ~ Tragic Tuyen

PS. Apparently, Marilyn Manson is engaged to Dita Von Teese.

Also, where the f*** have I been? Joey Ramone died of prostate cancer on September 15th.

Joey Ramone
1948- 2004